my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
