the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
