Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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