Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
