things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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