I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
