Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
