he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
