Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't deserve a penis
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
