yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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