Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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