so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
