after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
