I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
