Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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