just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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