if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
