At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
