I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
