I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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