yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
