Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
