just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
