i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
