I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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