My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
