Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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