Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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