My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
