It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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