shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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