You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
