So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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