That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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