I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
