The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
