call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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