i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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