There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
