when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Acid is not a monday night drug
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
