i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
