Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
