Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
