You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
