I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
