Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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