Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
