I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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