If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
