Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
