dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
