i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
