I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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