I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
