at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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